By Lauren Rowello, Philadelphia Gay News
Did you know one way to combat a panic attack is to try tricking it out of your system? Just fill a bowl or sink with water, add ice, then submerge your face while holding your breath. It’ll trigger a physiological response that helps calm your body.
“It’s kind of miraculous,” said Michael Byrne, MSS, LCSW — a mobile therapist with Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Greater Philadelphia (JFCS).
But it’s more than a miracle. It’s a science. Research shows that short-term exposure to cold temperatures — including those quick ice baths for your face — can slow your heart rate, telling your body to relax. A cold shower, compress on the neck, or even an icy drink can help too.
“It automatically changes the way you emotionally feel,” Byrne said. “It’s just a physical reaction that your body produces, but it’s a way of fooling your body into getting emotionally centered again.”
Byrne wants more people to learn about these kinds of tricks because, he said, they can be crucial in a crisis. It’s one of many skills learned during Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT — which teaches techniques to help people with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness.
Byrne now leads LGBTQ+ older adults as they learn DBT skills together at William Way LGBT Community Center. His first 10-week cohort just wrapped up — but the next cohort will begin June 16, and sessions will be ongoing as each group completes the program.
Byrne has always incorporated DBT skills into his practice because he often finds them to be helpful in a practical way — especially in crisis situations — because they offer a tangible way to address the problem at hand.
In recent decades, a shift to acknowledge the importance of emotional wellness and address mental health has resulted in more young people learning these kinds of skills at earlier ages. But, Byrne — who decided to specialize in care for older adults because he saw a need within that population that was going unmet — said people of all ages can benefit greatly from these techniques too.
Older adults, particularly older men, are at increased risk for suicide. People over the age of 75 experience the highest rates of suicide — more than any other age group — but often lack access to the tools and services that can be supportive or healing for mental health. One study noted that resources are hard to find even when they are available.
“So much of that [risk] comes from isolation and loneliness, disconnection from everything they’ve known before,” said Byrne, who said that mental health issues can emerge as people’s lives change dramatically as they age.
Health and mobility decline, friends die, and people become more invisible in broader society too. The effects of these stressors might manifest as anxiety or depression — but mental health concerns can also cause physical ailments and poorer outcomes for people who already have health problems. Finding connections to other people, Byrne said, can make a huge difference.
“But how do you make a new best friend when you’re 80?” he asked.
For many, it’s too scary to make new friends or barriers block their access to the community spaces and other avenues they’d typically use to meet people. Learning to cope with those challenges and navigate new ways of being is hard in itself — especially for people who haven’t ever been in therapy before.
But Byrne, who often sees individual clients in their own homes for a more comfortable environment, said many of those older adults are trying therapy for the first time. And it’s helped them to learn some DBT skills as they face the difficulties of their life stages. Even those who don’t want to commit to therapy can develop a new habit or two that becomes an important part of preserving and bolstering their mental health.
For instance, the negative voices in our heads don’t disappear as we age — and they can get worse as we encounter continued stressors. But, Byrne said, teaching that voice to flip its own scripts — interrupting negative self-talk with positive affirmations, for instance — can change people’s quality of life without actually changing their relationships or environment or requiring them to unpack the reasons that negative self-talk exists in the first place.
Daily practices — such as taking time for gratitude, guided meditation or journaling — can be supportive too and Byrne said exploring those practices with the support of others can help people be more successful in establishing new routines or feel less vulnerable as they begin.
These are just a few of the techniques Byrne teaches his cohorts. Participants learn a new skill during sessions, develop goals, and are given a bit of “homework” to try on their own. Each week, they come together to discuss how it went and brainstorm options for adapting new skills to better fit their lives if a technique didn’t go as expected.
Byrne also offers opportunities to flex more creative muscles — such as trying improv since he has a background in performance, or fun writing prompts, such as re-imagining our own lives as romantic comedies.
“Creativity feeds us, feeds our souls,” he said.
He tries to keep the experiences fun and lighthearted, focused on building new proficiencies and making new connections.
“Life is connection,” he underlined. “And connecting with human beings is what keeps us going and makes life richer.”
The next cohort of DBT skills groups for LGBTQ+ older adults begins June 16 and will take place on Mondays from 3 -4:30 p.m. at William Way LGBT Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. To register for a session, contact Michael Byrne at 267-858-8010 or mbyrne@jfcsphilly.org.