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I am 14 and gay. My parents are very conservative and I don’t know how they will take the news if I tell them. I’m scared to be me and of what my family will think of me. I don’t know if I should tell them or who to talk to.

Dear Jeff,

It takes a lot of courage to reach out to share your experience and ask for help. It’s understandable that you are scared to talk to your parents and what they may think if you tell them you are gay. Please know you are not alone, Jeff. It’s ok to have these feelings and fear of how they could react. Also know that if and when you are ready to talk to your parents or anyone else about you being gay that no matter how they react, you will not be alone and there are other people and resources for you to be yourself and to feel accepted for who you are.

Coming out to anyone is a very personal decision and only you can determine when, who and how to come out. Some things that may be helpful to think about are who you trust, where you may feel safe to talk to someone, what you would like to say, and what you would do if you didn’t get the response/reaction you were hoping for. It is beneficial to consider and prioritize your safety in any given situation. It may also be helpful to talk to someone who is LGBTQ or a visible ally. You may look into whether or not your school has a GSA. You can also talk to a trusted adult such as a guidance counselor, a neighbor, a relative, etc.

Some resources that you may find useful include The Trevor Project at 866-488- 7386 and, GLSEN at, and a local LGBTQ community center of you have one nearby. Another great online resource is where you can connect with LGBTQA youth around the world.

Jeff – if you should ever have another question or want to share your experience, please do not hesitate to reach out again